Top 3 Women Leader Gotchas
In my experience of being a woman leader and coaching many women leaders, here are the top gotchas, I have come across, that get in the way of both success and happiness on a daily basis. These affect men too, however women are more prone to these. And yes, they are all very common sense, and yet we don’t recognize them and their power over us.
#1
Afraid of : Being wrong
Addicted to: Being right
How it shows up:
- Needing to know 100% how to do the task before you start
- Never feeling ready
- Excessive procrastination
- Not signing up for bigger opportunities
What you can do
- Start with what you know, learn as you go. Assess, if you know enough to start. Maybe get another person’s objective opinion on what you know and if it is enough to start?
- Remind yourself about what is it that you are doing for the “first” time. E.g. maybe you presented for the first time, or pitched an idea for first time, travelled on your own for first time. Celebrate all those first times. No one is perfect in one trial.
- REMINDER: Perfection..err Excellence is by iteration, not by design.
#2
Afraid of: Asking for what you need
Addicted to: Being 100% self-reliant and independent
How it shows up:
- Feeling alone, overwhelmed and doing everything by yourself
- Feeling like either a victim or a martyr
- Feeling envy/resentment towards others
- Or sometimes even feeling superior to everyone
What you can do
- Look for signs of overwhelm and ask for resources or delegate
- Daily gratitude. What are you thankful for today? Who helped you today?
- You maybe not realize, but someone is always helping. No one functions in a vacuum. So once you see you are getting helped anyways, you may feel okay about asking for it and recognizing it.
- REMINDER: We are all interconnected and interdependent.
#3
Afraid of: Owning your accomplishments
Addicted to: Beating yourself up
How it shows up:
- Always feeling not good enough
- Always finding what’s wrong but never what’s right.
What you can do:
- Celebrate small milestones
- Daily affirmations. What are you proud of today?
- If you did something for the first time, any small thing, gives yourself kudos.
- REMINDER: Our brains are wired for negative bias. So you have to work 7–10 times harder to see the positive. We are born with the muscles to see both wonder and danger. We just need to keep wonder alive. Our survival brain will take care of spotting the danger on its own.
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