Observation vs Judgement: Do you know the difference?
Apple is Red.
Sky is blue.
This is an observation.
I hope you noticed it too.
I like red apples.
Red is the best.
This is a judgement.
No, this wasn’t a test.
You get the point. This blogpost is about pure and simple act and an art of “observation”.
Now, we can’t learn observation without comparing it to judgement. You ask why? Because our brains learn by comparison. We associate and compare two pieces of information to make sense and learn.
So let’s start with,
Definitions
- Observation: simply noticing “what is” (said, shown, seen, heard, felt). Also called awareness or mindfulness. PS: if we get too theoretical there are differences in awareness (a state), observation (an act), mindfulness (a skill) but for our purposes here, they are the same.
- Judgement: Comparing “what is” to “what should be” and putting a label of good or bad on the observed. In other words: observation + good_or_bad_label = judgement. Also called an opinion.
Examples:
- Observation: Weather is sunny | Judgement: Weather is good OR weather sucks.
- Observation: You are taller than average | Judgement: You look great with your tallness. OR you look scary with your tallness.
- Observation: Your presentation left audience impressed and convinced | Judgement: Your presentation was awesome. OR your presentation was awful.
- Observation: Salt is missing in the dish | Judgement: Dish is tasteless without salt
- Observation: Your report had two items missing. | Judgement: Your reports was not good enough.
- Observation: I am feeling sad | Judgement: I should not be feeling sad.
Why care:
Did you notice the effects of reading the above observations vs the judgements on you?
- Judgements have the following effect on the judge and the judged: leave us high and dry, feeling good or bad, feeling defensive or offensive, feeling inferior or superior. Judgements are anxiety provoking. Judgements are subjective and positive / negative
- Observations on the other hand make us curious, evoke learning. Observations are calming. Observations are objective and neutral.
Why is it hard:
- Biologically: Our brains are sense-making or meaning-making organs and observations may not have inherent meaning always. So we are wired to make a “meaning” out of what is observed, which leads us to judge. For example: “My employee comes late to work” — is an observation. And my brain forces me to assign a meaning to that observation like “he must not care about the job” or “he is lazy”. So we have to consciously force ourselves to think of alternative explanations like “he must have a hard commute” or “he works from home to avoid traffic” to stay in the realm of curiosity and possibilities. This is hard because you were not designed for this.
- Culturally: We live in the era of judgments/opinions. Everyone has one and they have a platform to share one. At work, we literally get paid for our opinions. In American corporate masculine culture, having a strong opinion and judgement, is looked at as a sign of intelligence and capability. We get incentivized for it so it makes it hard not to always have one.
- Personally: Our judgements help define our sense of “I”. Our likes / dislikes aka our preferences are outcomes of our judgements and we use them to define ourselves. Example, when we ask a kid, what’s her favorite color / ice-cream/ movie or when we ask our date, what they like or dislike. It’s going to be hard to not judge if our identity relies on judgments.
What can we do:
- Set expectations: Just know of our inclination to judge
- Get aware: Ask yourself am I observing or am I judging.
- Course correct: If you found yourself judging, take a step back
— State observation separate from the judgement. In other words, separate facts from fiction
— Ask questions, explore possibilities especially when judging others - Reinforce: Watch the calming effects of observation and keep practicing it.
So, what are you observing right now?
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