Need an opinion? Here is one on how to get one.
We are all interdependent beings. We give opinions and seek opinions all the time.
We seek opinions,
— A: before making a decision to help us make the right one
— B: to validate our decisions and inform the next one accordingly
— C: just for argument sake, to open our minds and/or to get to know the other person.
The dictionary definition of Opinion is : “a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”
The following “opinion” piece is applicable to #A and #B above. For #C, knock yourself out with opinions.
Here is handy and quick framework on sorting through all the wanted or unwanted opinions. Ask these about the people giving you opinion.
#1: Do they have stakes? (i.e. your decision influences their lives)
- Opinions might be biased and/or have new pieces of information
- Take it with a bucket of salt.
- If they have stakes, they are trying to influence you. (knowingly or unknowingly).
- Separate objective data from subjective opinion.
- Understand their stakes. If it aligns with you then you can partner up to problem solve. However if they are opposite (i.e. your gain is their loss or vice-versa), then walk away, unless you are really skilled at standing the tide of influence to open up your perspective and add new dimensions to your thought model.
- E.g. your team and other team want to get the project. Other team trying to tell you, why they “think” this project is not suitable for your team. Ya, don’t listen to them.
#2: Do they have experience? (i.e. they have somewhat been there done that)
- Opinion might be informed
- Take it with a grain of salt, since their experience might not apply 100% to you.
- Look for facts that their opinion is based on. There might be nuggets of data useful.
- E.g. seeking an opinion from a mentor or someone who has ran into a similar issue as yours.
#3: Do they have neither stakes nor experience? Maybe they are just well-meaning / well-intentional.
- Throw their opinions in the garbage.
- E.g. Non-parents friend telling you how to raise kids or person who has never build a product telling you how to build and scale.
- Well intention means, they think if you do this, then it would lead to some good result. That conclusion comes from their mental models. Remember they do not have either experience or stakes. Its some theory they have and they want to impose that on you and if that works for you, it will validate their theory and make them feel good (and of course make you feel good). If that does not work out, they will just dismiss the scenario and you are left with the aftermath of following a random opinion.
#4: If they don’t have stakes, experience or well-intentions, why the **** are you seeking their opinions? Run.
And yes, if you were wondering, my opinion is coming from my experience of following my own framework.
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