It takes a village…..to make you successful.
We are all interconnected and cannot function or succeed in a vacuum. Everyone needs supports especially people who want to be successful. And all the people who are successful got LOTs of support. It takes a village to make someone successful, so let’s talk about who is in your village (aka circle of support or personal board of directors).
It took me decades to understand, accept and learn the role support plays in our lives. We are always enamored by the “heroes” journey who alone saves the world or the glamor of “self-made”. What a bunch of bull****. I noticed as I coach women that they are stuck in the double bind of “to be worthy of support, you have to not need it”. Well it’s not too late because if you have not gotten what you want to in life, most likely you are missing the skill of seeking support and creating your village.
So here is a framework of who is needed in your village. But before you go asking them to join your village, here are
#Rules of engagement:
- Ideally have 2 people in each category (Same person can play multiple roles. Let them know what you need from them.)
- You are responsible for reaching out, asking for the support and maintaining the relationship, setting up meetings, setting agenda
- It’s a process to build relationship, and it takes time. These are not transactional, there are relational activities.
- Don’t apologize for “taking their time”, but definitely thank them and best yet, follow some of their advice and let them know what you did and what impact it had.
- Follow up 3 times before giving up.
- Reminder: You have to be interested, not interesting.
#Villagers needed:
#1 Role: Cheerleaders/Believers/personal coach/good old friends : People who will hold you when you fall down, shoulder to cry on, whom you will text when you reach milestone for celebration. People who literally divide your sorrows and multiply your joy.
Frequency of interaction: Daily
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): Emotional
Requirements: Safe and Trusting relationship. Where you can be vulnerable without any risks.
#2 Role: Peers: Your fellow travelers on a similar journey. Give you an opportunity to envision yourself in their shoes or validate the path you are on or motivate you to move to action really fast.
Frequency of interaction: Weekly or Bi-weekly
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): ALL
Requirements:
- Doing it with you, as you speak
- Invoke a feeling of “if they can do it, so can I”.
#3 Role: Mentors / SME / Information power house: People who have already done what you are trying to do and can give you lot of context and information. Helps set expectations and influence your strategy and warn you about the gotchas.
Frequency of interaction: Bi-weekly or Monthly
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): Informational
Requirements: Been there done that
#4 Role: Connectors: These are people with 1000s of friends on Facebook (so to say). In other words, they hang out in lots of loosely connected circles spanning across different verticals. Anyone from above roles can be a connector, but true connectors help you jump circles. Imagine someone who is a techie and loves art too. So they can connect those 2 disjoint worlds for you. Or a doctor and philanthropist who can connect the those two worlds. Now imagine one person who is connected to multiple such disjointed worlds.
Frequency of interaction: Monthly or Quarterly
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): Practical
Requirements:
- Wide network
- Lots of varied interests
#5 Role: Door openers/Influencers/Sponsors: These are people either deep influence, and their word carries some weight. If they see value in you, they might be willing to invest and open doors for you.
Frequency of interaction: Quarterly
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): Practical
Requirements:
- Social clout
- Power
#6 Role: Challengers/Innovators/Disruptors: These are people you look for validation that a path uncharted can still work out. They open your mind and challenge you to think outside the box. This helps you sometimes take leap of faith.
Frequency of interaction: Quarterly or bi-annually
Primary category of Support (Emotional/Informational/Practical): Emotional
Requirements:
- Risk takers
- Non linear path to life and career
- Living outside the box
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