Simple Guide on reducing Stress
Let me start by defining what is stress and why do we have it.
(I am going to use the words worry, stress and anxiety interchangeably.)
What is it? As human beings, stress or anxiety is actually a protective mechanism for us to survive. What happens is when we are either faced with a situation in reality or we imagine a future situation, we go through something called as “stress appraisal”. What that means is, we ask ourselves, “how significant is this?” and “can I deal with this?”. If the answer is “no” then our brain and body start producing stress response (e.g. hormones like cortisol in our bloodstream) to get us to prepare to deal with situation that we don’t think we can deal with. This is what you physically feel, when you say “I am feeling stressed or anxious” e.g. palpitations, increased heart rate, blood pressure, or just general restlessness.
Most important point is that Stress/Anxiety is a physiological phenomenon i.e. it does not just exist in our mind, but it actually lives in our body. This is very important to know as this implies to deal with stress, we need to engage our body as much as our mind.
Why do we get stressed? It is just a preparation to deal with situation that we earlier answered as “I can’t deal with”. Imagine a lion running after you, it is good to feel stress, blood flowing into limbs, non-essential systems like digestion shuts down, so you can run for your life to survive. Now today unfortunately with social media, news channels we are perpetually stuck in that feeling of lion running after us, and hence feeling general anxiety that never leaves us. Also another point is that this can happen for not just real things, but things we imagine. So this imagination can then lead us to a vicious cycle of “what if this”, “what if that”…and of course your body goes into a stress response mode.
To deal with this there are some basic reminders and basic behaviors
Reminders:
- You are not alone. Most people around you are feeling this, maybe at different levels.
- Nothing is wrong with you personally. What you are feeling is how human beings have been genetically coded.
- Stress can get triggered with imagined situations too
- Stress/worry is our response to deal with (aka control) the situation.
- Stress lives in our body
Basic physical behaviors
Most of you are going to roll your eyes for what am I going to say because it is cliched but so true. Breath, move, eat, sleep, repeat.
- Breathing: Since stress lives in our body so we can use our body to fight it too. We have to activate our parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS), which will then reduce the cortisol and calm our heart, body and mind. How do we activate it? Basic sensory exercises — like “focus on your breath and do a counted breathing”. The actual counts are not super important. Most common out there is called 4–7–8. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 7 and exhale for 8. Try it! While exhaling you can try both modes, exhaling from your mouth or nose.
- Movement, eating, sleeping: all help with chemical detox wash of your brain, reset your hormones, restore blood flow and oxygen to cells. In current times where we are locked up, we can be creative. Like you can put on favorite music while cooking and move your legs and hips. Or do some stretches while sitting in front of TV.
- Routine: Our bodies love routines. Google circadian rhythm. Its restorative. So make sure to eat, sleep, move at specific times. And our mind love routines as it is less work for us to constantly decide. Routine is like someone made a pre-decision for us.
Basic mental behaviors:
- Attention: Thing of a purple tree. Now don’t think of an orange elephant. Got you! Our brains don’t understand “no”. All it knows is symbols. So when you say “don’t think about covid” , you are thinking about covid. Instead just say “think about tree”, “thing about breath” “think about X”. Basic way our brains work is “where attention goes energy flows”. So if your attention is constantly on news and checking numbers of COVID cases, then that’s where your energy is going, leading to stress. If your attention is on this moment that maybe you are getting to spend with your family or saving time on commute or staying healthy, then that’s where your energy will flow, leading to positive feeling.
- Acceptance: Emotions are just messengers. They are not right or wrong. They just are. Accept whatever emotions are here. Emotions live in our body so get in touch with your body to know how you are feeling. One phrase that can help is : “This is hard, and its OK”. Meanwhile let yourself feel whatever is arising without resisting it. (Note: for acute cases like panic attack breathing and distracting can work better).
- Kindness: Be kind to yourself first. If you are feeling stressed, it means your brain thinks you can’t deal with something. That is a hard place to be. Offer yourself kindness by just saying “I hear you and I am here for you”. Remind yourself you are not alone and there is support out there and that eventually you will figure this out. Humans are very creative and adaptable. After all survival is coded in our DNA.
I will end with following serenity prayer that helps me:
“This belongs. Its OK. It will be OK.”
— — — — — — — — —
Thank you for reading.
If you like what you read, please support by following, clapping and sharing. Your support helps to spread the knowledge and keeps me going.
THANK YOU again for your support!
Follow me on Facebook or YouTube Channel or here on medium.
— — — — — — — — —
